I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So many bounce houses so little time
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
