If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
