Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
