True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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