If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
