am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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