i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
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You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
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You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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