So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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