at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
