it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I stole a fireplace last night.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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