I faked an abortion last night.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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