thus making me awesome and them whores
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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