he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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