thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
