Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
