Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
