What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
