You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
