That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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