I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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