awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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