I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
