you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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