Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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