Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize