everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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