i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize