theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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