good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
