im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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