I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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