I wish I could punch you in the face.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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