Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
