trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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