the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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