They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
