is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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