Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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