just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
