Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
