I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
