Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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