its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
