just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
