Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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