in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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