Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
