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• (541): View more from Oregon

  He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes

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• (661): View more from California

  Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Good thing spelling doesn't count.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (516): View more from New York

  ...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?

  (585): View more from New York

  hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that

  (516): View more from New York

  is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot

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• (418): View more from Quebec

  He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.

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