New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk