I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
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She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
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Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.