Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(856): View more from New Jersey

I'll just stay a virgin forever then

(1-856): View more from New Jersey

You still have to go anyway

(856): View more from New Jersey

Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around

Fav 5 1425 807
share tweet
(416): View more from Ontario

Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up

Fav 26 1369 3213
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?

Fav 16 1464 3690
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny

Fav 22 6034 1262
share tweet
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(206): View more from Washington

She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.

Fav 3 2641 1023
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.

Fav 4 2350 877
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(920): View more from Wisconsin

YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!

Fav 22 1706 956
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.

Fav 2 517 752
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.

Fav 4 865 378
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT