i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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