What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
