Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
