dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
