super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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