I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
