Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
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