just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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