the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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