Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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