He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
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if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
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Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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