Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
