So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
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I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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