he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
